We live in two worlds. There is the outer world where life goes on before us. We see, view and experience it.
Then there is the inner world, made up of our thoughts and feelings based on what we experienced during our childhood.
If we take a close look at this inner world, we will find there is an inner politic that rules us. How this operates is difficult to grasp. When it is operating, we are confused about what is happening inside of us.
We summarize its activity in a simple formula which we call the ABC’s.
Be the Adult, Banish the voices and nurture the Children
Let’s take a closer look at how this system operates.
Let’s start out with the idea of being in the present moment – the right now.
I am – with my entire experience and life story.
I am the accumulation of all my wisdom, successes and failures…
I am the present day ME.
When we ground our self in the Adult place (the A in the ABC’s), we are able to look at this inner politic from a more mature and neutral perspective. This Adult space is where we want to live, but often we are pulled into the Child spaces.
In the process of growing up, we are bombarded with a lot of information.
In infancy, we are left to rely on others for our safety and well-being.
“Don’t go near the hot stove”, “don’t go near the steps” or “you did a good job”.
These are all ways a safe and nurturing environment is established.
But unfortunately, many of us received less than stellar information.
If we had abusive or neglectful parenting or guardianship,
we might have received messages like, “You are no good!”, “You can’t do anything right!”, “You are useless!”, etc.
We might have also received similar messages from extended family members, church, school, society.
These are communications that came from our outer world and ended up sitting on us within our inner world and have wrestled within us that generates great confusion.
These kinds of statements are what become within our inner world of the inner politic the character of the Inner Other.
It has also been called the inner judge, inner critic, the gremlin.
Whatever it is called, it is not part of the true self.
It speaks to us in a you voice, “Why can’t you do anything right?!”
It usually can be traced to some historical figure or group.
If this entity is feeding us negative messages, it is up to us to figure out what that voice is and Banish it! These negative, intrusive, degrading messages that demean us are not allowed in the sacred space of the I AM.
As the Adult, when we review what these inner voices say to us, we can see how they have wreaked havoc in our inner world.
The damage to ourselves by these outside forces in various stages of growing up certainly leave their mark.
That part of ourselves that went through that kind of trauma, lived it and was affected by it, still takes up a psychic state in our inner politic.
These are the Child spaces. These parts of the self need care, nurturing and re-education.
There can be more than one Child part.
There is the repressed, disowned Child, the part of ourselves that is sad, hiding, scared, unable to talk or even be in life!
In the Adult place, we have to be grounded enough to let those repressed Children know they are safe and no more trauma like that will be allowed.
Another (Child) part is called the Ally Child.
It is the part of the self that allies itself with the original parental people, now the Inner Others. This is a part of the self that also needs a great deal of care.
What started out as a survival tactic on the part of this Child with those original dysfunctional caretakers, has become a soldier keeping the old rules out of safety concerns but instead has resulted in keeping life at bay. This Ally Child thinks the battle is still being fought and wants to pull the Adult into a false safety of compliance.
But it is an unknowing trap that causes us to live in the old way.
Both the Repressed Child and the Ally Child need care.
Many want to boot the Ally Child out since it adheres to the old way.
However, what it needs is a new understanding of what happened then and be brought into a new awareness and integration of the present time with the Adult Self.
This is what is contained in:
Be the Adult
Banish the Inner Other voices
Nurture the Child parts of the true Self
This is a system that is quick to learn and understand intellectually, but is also a daily heart practice for healing.